What I Did On My Holidays.

by Amanda February 9, 2011

By Amanda (Aged 9 1/2) Well, that’s how it feels. As soon as I think about updating folk on what I’ve been up to whilst gallivanting, I’m reminded of those bloody awful essays we were commanded to write at school after the summer holidays. I went to school with the kind of children whose compositions [...]

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A Lesson In Fuckwittery

by Amanda January 12, 2011

Or “How Not To Annoy Me Before We’ve Even Met” 1. Don’t Tell Fibs. Hi, I read your website. How much do you charge? No you didn’t. If you had read my website, you would know that your question is answered there. 2 & 3. Speak English and don’t tell me to text back. I [...]

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What’s another year?

by Amanda January 4, 2011

You’ll need to ask Johnny Logan that one. I don’t do all that resolution malarkey, unless you count the fact that I tell myself that if I get to the end of *insert current year* and still haven’t *insert thing that needs doing*, then there’s going to be trouble. So I’ve no great news for you on that front. [...]

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Happy Holidays (A Rant)

by Amanda December 12, 2010

I absolutely detest that phrase. With a passion! It makes me swear like a Tourettes sufferer. So you can imagine my utter, deep and heartfelt joy when, on the way home the other day I saw a house (which obviously belongs to someone with more money than sense. I wouldn’t want their electricity bill) covered [...]

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Allergies!

by Amanda November 26, 2010

I don’t have those. They are for lesser people, the sort of people who “suffer” from things. I refuse to allow myself to “suffer” with anything. I catch the occasional cold, I am bunged up for a few days. That is all. No drama. Nothing to see here, please move along. I’ve been breaking out [...]

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I Had A Dream

by Amanda November 19, 2010

I dreamt that I went to Edinburgh zoo. Now, I’ve never actually been to Edinburgh zoo, but I’d bet that it doesn’t look like New York docks, Disney style. However, in my dream, that is exactly what it looked like, in fact it was all a bit cartoony. You had to walk back and forth [...]

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Search Terms

by Amanda November 16, 2010

Sometimes people stumble across my blog when they are quite obviously looking for something entirely different. I can see some of the search terms that led folk here when I check my blog statistics. The reason I mention this today, is that one of today’s offerings was truly bewildering. I do get some odd ones [...]

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Don’t Eat With Your Mouth Open!

by Amanda November 14, 2010

That’s what my Dad used to say. Cue me doing a little pantomime of trying to put food in my mouth, with my mouth firmly closed. Of course, table manners are incredibly important, but have you ever noticed how many potential spanners are thrown into the works of attempted etiquette perfection? For instance, putting food [...]

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Voicemail Strangeness

by Amanda November 13, 2010

Dear reader, do you happen to have a mobile phone with 3 network? If so, have you noticed anything odd about their voicemail? I rang to retrieve my messages a couple of months ago and was duly informed by the nice robot man, that they had “improved their voicemail service”. Now, you’d think that by [...]

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Gallivanting Again

by Amanda November 13, 2010

Yes, it’s a hard life. Two visits to Inverness and a jolly to York to meet friends since last I blogged. Oh woe is me. *Grins* It was my first visit to York and it’s a beautiful place, full of Tudor buildings and fabulous, winding, cobbled lanes. Unfortunately it was also full of people with [...]

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