Ramblings

I didn’t write this

by Amanda June 15, 2011

But, as it made me chuckle, I thought I’d share. Murphy’s law of whoring. Law 1. The one service that he wants, is the only one you don’t do. Law 2. The less interested you are in working, the more clients there will be wanting to book you. Law 3. The niceness of the client [...]

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A Message From Scot-PEP

by Amanda May 10, 2011

‘It was confirmed to us at Scot-PEP last week, by one of the leading abolitionists, that the intention to press ahead with the criminalisation of the purchase and sale of sex will continue in the new Parliament. With Ms. Godman’s retiral, it is not clear who will take that job on. However, we were told [...]

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Humph!

by Amanda April 21, 2011

Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to take my phone number off of my adultwork profile. Having endured the last couple of weeks, filled with phone calls which start with “Hi, I seen (sic) your profile on the internet. Can I have a few details?”. I can only assume that the chaps [...]

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Shenanigans

by Amanda April 6, 2011

I have discovered that it is “against company policy” to allow customers to take pictures of the handbags in Harvey Nicks. The same handbags which are featured in their brochure and the same handbags of which there are numerous pictures available on the net. Why? Because “You might copy the handbag”. Well, Harvey Nicks. If [...]

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Sing me a lullaby

by Amanda April 1, 2011

It is 2:56am and I am awake. I do not want to be awake, but that seems to be irrelevant. I’m having one of those “This is not my bed” moments. I’m sure that any minute now, I will be overwhelmed by the urge to sleep, I am also sure that when that happens, the [...]

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Happy Birthday To Me

by Amanda March 28, 2011

Yes, another one. That’s 38 of them now and quite frankly they’re beginning to get a little tedious. Still, mustn’t grumble. I usually spend my birthday scouring the t’interweb for any listings which quote my age, so that I can change them. This year I’m putting it off for a couple of days. You see? [...]

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Honestly…

by Amanda March 22, 2011

I don’t wear a fluorescent mini dress and leather thigh boots. I don’t have a flashing neon sign over my head which reads “Escort at work”. I don’t drive a shocking pink minibus with “Whores on Tour” emblazoned on the sides. And as I said to someone the other day, I won’t turn up wearing [...]

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We’re Off To See The Wizard

by Amanda March 10, 2011

Well, I’m off down to Inverness again. Despite the snow and gale force winds. Honestly, don’t be surprised if my next blog post is co-written by the cowardly lion, it’s ‘orrible out there. I’m posting this on my iPhone as I managed to knock my laptop off the table the other day. There was that [...]

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What I Did On My Holidays.

by Amanda February 9, 2011

By Amanda (Aged 9 1/2) Well, that’s how it feels. As soon as I think about updating folk on what I’ve been up to whilst gallivanting, I’m reminded of those bloody awful essays we were commanded to write at school after the summer holidays. I went to school with the kind of children whose compositions [...]

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A Lesson In Fuckwittery

by Amanda January 12, 2011

Or “How Not To Annoy Me Before We’ve Even Met” 1. Don’t Tell Fibs. Hi, I read your website. How much do you charge? No you didn’t. If you had read my website, you would know that your question is answered there. 2 & 3. Speak English and don’t tell me to text back. I [...]

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