Rants

Sunday Rant

by Amanda January 15, 2012

I have had a call from someone who said: We’ve been trying to get hold of you for weeks now! This is someone who works in a government department. Someone whose call I was waiting for. Did I know they were trying to get in touch with me? No! I can tell you why I [...]

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WARNING! ABNORMAL!!

by Amanda January 4, 2012

A question which is often asked on forums is Has anybody ever had a relationship with a working girl? Duh! No, we’re all man hating bitches or No! We all turn into wolves after midnight and spend the hours until 7am maiming and killing unsuspecting folk on their way home from the pub. Incidentally people,  [...]

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May You Live In Interesting Times…

by Amanda December 28, 2011

Whoever wished that one on me had better watch out, because if I find out who it was, I’m going to stand on their bunions… HARD! My life over the last six weeks or so has been eventful, to say the least, but it seems to be settling back to something almost recognisable as normal [...]

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An Open Letter

by Amanda September 6, 2011

To someone who’ll probably never read it.   Dear whatever you name is, As much as I would obviously love to meet you in the truck stop tomorrow night for an hour long bunk up extravaganza in the cab of your lorry, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to make it. I would also [...]

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Coupons? Seriously?

by Amanda September 6, 2011

Coupons always remind me of my Nan. You’d find her sat at the kitchen table with the daily paper (after Grandad had finished with it of course) and a pair of scissors, scouring them for any sign of coupons (she pronounced it kewpons) for anything at all, didn’t matter whether or not it was something [...]

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Squonuts and other less important stuff

by Amanda August 22, 2011

Yes really. I have no room to talk, because anyone who knows me will tell you that I amuse myself on a daily basis by making up new words for things and bastardising the words we have been very kindly provided with already, but squonuts? I mean, it’s not as if all other doughnuts are [...]

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Humph!

by Amanda April 21, 2011

Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to take my phone number off of my adultwork profile. Having endured the last couple of weeks, filled with phone calls which start with “Hi, I seen (sic) your profile on the internet. Can I have a few details?”. I can only assume that the chaps [...]

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A Lesson In Fuckwittery

by Amanda January 12, 2011

Or “How Not To Annoy Me Before We’ve Even Met” 1. Don’t Tell Fibs. Hi, I read your website. How much do you charge? No you didn’t. If you had read my website, you would know that your question is answered there. 2 & 3. Speak English and don’t tell me to text back. I [...]

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Happy Holidays (A Rant)

by Amanda December 12, 2010

I absolutely detest that phrase. With a passion! It makes me swear like a Tourettes sufferer. So you can imagine my utter, deep and heartfelt joy when, on the way home the other day I saw a house (which obviously belongs to someone with more money than sense. I wouldn’t want their electricity bill) covered [...]

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Why I Prefer Email

by Amanda October 17, 2010

Because answering the phone leaves me wide open to the “Numpty Factor”. The other day, just as I was parking the car, my phone rang. I didn’t quite grab it in time and I needed to get into the Post Office, so I sent a text. Sorry, I can’t speak on the phone now. Please [...]

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