Please pass this on to any ladies you know the Nottingham area as a matter of some urgency.
There have now been six attacks in eight nights by the same two men, although the most recent attack I know about was the ‘main’ man acting alone. This was last night (15th May) in a Nottingham hotel where the woman was beaten and robbed – the first reported attack I got was on the 6th of May and both men were involved.
The first man (and the one who has attacked on his own) is called Jerome but also uses the name Aaron, is about 5’6", light skinned mixed race, and in his twenties. He has a strong ‘black’ chav or ‘hoodie’ accent and has worn dark/all black clothing.
The second man is about the same height, stockier build and also light skinned mixed race, Jamaican origin/accent wearing sage green hooded coat/jacket (hands in pockets) hood up and drawstring pulled tight like Kenny the South Park character.
Their MO has been to make a booking which ‘Jerome’ goes ahead with, returning to the incall premises just after he has gone claming to have left something behind, which is when his friend has burst in and they have carried out these attacks and robbed the WG. ‘Jerome’ is getting braver now and last night attacked as soon as he arrived.
The main mobile number used has been 075841204** and they have also used 077283990** – PM me for full numbers
Corresponding thread on SAAFE is here and there will hopefully be a warning in the local AdMag tomorrow – ladies if you have blogs on Adultwоrk or personal sites, please post this as anywhere that others may read it could help.

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A little late, I know…

Lend your leg

1. Mitters, Mitters, Wherefore art thou?

Are you there? Knock once for yes, or twice for no.

Ok, for everybody else. A quick explanation:

Mitters is a lovely gentleman I met a few years ago and who used to read my blog and Laura’s. Then he vanished. Went up in a puff of smoke, so to speak. Now, even if I had his number, I wouldn’t cold call him and I don’t think I have his email address any more, although an unsolicited message there could potentially cause problems for him for all I know.

So I’m stuck.

Every now and again I wonder whether he’s ok and there’s not a sausage I can do about it. So Mitters, if you read this. Drop me a line to say hello.

Or if you are an escort who knows Mitters, tell him I was asking after him.

2. BonnieScot. Mr Anonymous

As above. I can’t initiate contact and I’m wondering how you are keeping.

If you read this, drop me a line. Let me know how you are. I haven’t heard from you for aaaaaaaages.

And no, I’m not touting for business. So, don’t panic.

A xx

This industry is rife with it and I must admit that sometimes it’s almost amusing to watch. It’s certainly fascinating.

For instance, a few weeks ago, somebody posted a link in a closed part of a forum*. The link was to a blog and the comment was along the lines of

Ooh! Does anyone know what’s happened to annoy *the blog owner*?

There were two replies. One was.

*the website that was blogged about*-itis?

The other was just in general agreement with said blog post.

That should be the end of a (truly dull as shite) story, but no. This is hookerville, where imaginations rampage freely.

The person whose blog was linked to spotted that they had been visited by people who had a clicked on a link they couldn’t gain access to.  Now, did the person:

1. Ignore it?
2. Send a message, politely enquiring as to the nature of these unseen things?
3. Fly off the handle, assume the worst and blog about covens, witches, harridans and assorted nasties, bitching and moaning in secret?

You guessed it and not only that, but it has been served with a side order of “I know my rights” and drizzled lightly with threats of legal action “if necessary”.

It would’ve been so easy to clear up. Why assume the worst? Still, never mind eh… *Sigh*

*Closed sections of a forum aren’t necessarily anything to excite conspiracy theorists. They’re usually very dull and consist of the admin team saying things like “Oops, I seemed to have pressed the wrong button in the admin panel”

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I have had a call from someone who said:

We’ve been trying to get hold of you for weeks now!

This is someone who works in a government department. Someone whose call I was waiting for. Did I know they were trying to get in touch with me?

No!

I can tell you why I didn’t know. It’s because they call my landline from a withheld number and don’t leave a message on the answering machine. I get home and find that I have missed calls, but I have no way of knowing who they’re from and therefore I can’t return the call. Now, assuming that they have no choice about the withheld number, assuming that the office phone system doesn’t give them an option on that one, then aren’t they lucky that I went to the expense of buying a phone with a decent answering machine. That should solve the problem, but nooooo! They absolutely refuse to leave a bloody message, usually having waited until after the beep to decide that they’d rather not, thank you. So, I arrive home to a flashing light, I listen to my blank, two second message and then I head for the calls list to see who it was… Withheld.

People who do this! Be aware that it is extremely irritating. That’s fine, it’s just a passing irritation. HOWEVER! When you do get hold of me and start to bitch about how many times you’ve tried to call me, despite having been offered the chance to have me call you back. You are just begging for me to pop round to your office and slap you repeatedly with a rolled up phone book.

Consider yourselves warned…

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A question which is often asked on forums is

Has anybody ever had a relationship with a working girl?

Duh!

No, we’re all man hating bitches

or

No! We all turn into wolves after midnight and spend the hours until 7am maiming and killing unsuspecting folk on their way home from the pub. Incidentally people,  please stop eating kebabs! They give you a funny aftertaste.

or

Yes, of course they have you silly arse!

You choose…

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Whoever wished that one on me had better watch out, because if I find out who it was, I’m going to stand on their bunions… HARD!

My life over the last six weeks or so has been eventful, to say the least, but it seems to be settling back to something almost recognisable as normal now, which means (fingers crossed) that I can start to catch up on my email. Well, I already have started, but if you’ve been expecting to hear from me and haven’t, feel free to prod me with a reminder.

Having changed my tune and started providing domination as a service, I have to say I’m thoroughly enjoying myself and can’t wait to get in a bit of practice in 2012. Which reminds me.

Naughty flatmate! Belated Merry Xmas and I look forward to giving you a good thrashing in the new year!

In case you hadn’t noticed (Yes you! pay attention at the back!), I’ve had a new field report.  So there you have it. Further proof – if you needed it – that I aten’t dead. Not only that, but that I am a sex goddess and social chameleon *preens*. Oh alright then, no I’m not, but I’m not half bad. In fact, as not bad goes, I’m really rather alright.

Anyhoo…

Interesting times or not, I was alternately amused and irritated to see that the Highland News seem to have appointed themselves the moral guardians of Inverness. Their article on the dating website for married folk who fancy a bit on the side may have been intended to stop such shenanigans, but the cynic in me wonders whether it wasn’t just a sneaky bit of advertising for the “security company” mentioned. Ooh! Yes, we’re all terribly impressed that they’ve just taken on two ex policefolk, but really? You’re going to hunt down all the adulterers who fancy a bit of light entertainment because of the recession? Then what? Burn them at the stake outside the town hall? You’ll just cause a traffic jam and then nobody will be your friend. Or are you planning to tell their unsuspecting partners?

Excuse me Madam, I know you think that you are perfectly content with your life and you have a good relationship with your husband, but I feel the need to inform you that he’s been having it away with her at number seven!

If I’m not mistaken, you can’t just start randomly following people. You’ll end up being sued. People have been having affairs and quick knee tremblers when nobody was looking since time began. Right or wrong, it’s none of your business.

Whether or not the articles in question boosted business for the professional nosey parkers, I’m absolutely certain that they will have resulted in a dramatic leap in membership applications for the no strings sex site. So, yah boo sucks to you!

And just don’t get me started on the letters page where two Inverness residents were allowed to spout homophobic bile to a wide audience… Just don’t!

Or busy Amanda as the case may be. I’m currently all booked up until Tuesday 8th November.
I have had a lot of enquiries about incalls just lately, so just to remind you all. I am not currently able to provide incalls, but I can visit you at your home or hotel, subject to my availability.
I have upgraded my floozy phone to a BlackBerry, so I no longer feel the urge to change my number or ditch the phone completely, thanks to a rather nifty application which blocks calls and texts from blacklisted numbers. I like to think of it as the fuckwit filter or fwf for short. This also means that my phone is switched on more often than it has been in recent months.
Anyway, it’s late and my Horlicks is getting cold, so goodnight people who live in the interweb tubes.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Oh woe is me, for that is where I have been. I have had a moderately bad cold a near fatal case of man-flu. I still sound hoarse as hell rather husky and sexy, so I shall make my fortune (obviously) over the next few days by offering “Lauren Bacall phone sex”. Either that or I’ll continue to wander around the house amusing myself by saying things like “In Soviet Russia, kettle boils you”.

I have spent this evening eating (someone else’s) Dairy Milk and drinking hot tea (made by the chocolate owner) whilst looking for a nice chunky knit hooded scarf to snuggle into during the winter months. I was tucked under a duvet in a comfy chair and was ill prepared for the shocking discovery (don’t forget my weakened state) that Urban Outfitters sell one for £250. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY QUID!! FOR A SCARF! A rather bloody ugly one at that. You could buy a flock of feckin’ sheep to snuggle up to for less than that.

Anyway, none of that is what I planned to tell you. Apart from the fact that I have been clinging desperately to life (did I mention that I’ve not been well?). Which leads me to the fact that I need to catch up with my email. If you think you’re being ignored, worry not. You’ll get a reply over the next day or so. Unless of course you are the chap who emailed me about “doing intercourse and other sex stuff” in which case don’t hold your breath.

To someone who’ll probably never read it.

Dear whatever you name is,

As much as I would obviously love to meet you in the truck stop tomorrow night for an hour long bunk up extravaganza in the cab of your lorry, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to make it.

I would also like to take this chance to thank you for your incredibly generous offer. It touches me deeply to know that you are such a giving and selfless person that you would offer me 40% of my hourly fee for an hour in such salubrious surroundings. You really shouldn’t have.* You truly are a prince among men.

I would just like to apologise again for my inability to accept your booking on this occasion, but I’m washing my hair and of course I really just can’t cancel that. In fact, you’ll find (if you ever contact me again) that I wash my hair quite often.**

Love and kisses

Amanda

*No, you really shouldn’t have

** And I’m sure that if it’s not hair wash time, I can find lots of other things I’d rather do, like sharpening matchsticks and shoving them under my fingernails with a mallet.

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